4.23.2011

Make that one Skinny Bitch, please. And hold the sarcasm.

I now know the name of my favorite cocktail. Skinny Bitch. All these years and I had no idea.  But I like it, the name. It's got attitude.

I've never been a whiskey girl.  Burr, makes me shudder just to smell it.  Clear liquors for me only, thanks.  Vodka strongly preferred.  Tequila second choice. Rum on occasion.  Gin only when I'm desperate.

When I was in gradual school, my boyfriend was a bartender.  I got to taste test all sorts of drinks.  My wish was his drink fulfillment.

First there was my Tom Collins phase.  Or in my case, Vodka Collins.  Drinking this, I thought I looked all virginia slim sipping from the tall, slender glass. Over time I decided it was too sweet which led to too awful feeling in the morning.

Next up, the Greyhound.  Vodka and grapefruit.  My mouth still waters thinking about these.  I quit drinking them due to sour, burning stomach.  Too acidic I suppose.


Then there was the Amoretta Sour phase.  I really liked this drink.  Until I didn't.  Sour stomach and headache by end of the evening.

Cuba Libras tasted good.  Rum and diet coke with a wedge of lime.  Didn't have the sugar but it did come with caffeine.  Wired me up.  Drunk bitch on speed.  Not pleasant for me or anybody in the room, for that matter.

Eventually I moved up to the big girl drink, Skinny Bitches.  Stolichnaya Vodka in those days with a splash of soda and a twist of lemon. Rather than a skinny bitch, I proceeded to turn  into a sarcastic, insulting bitch.  Drinking straight up is a good recipe for drunk misbehaving not to mention the risk of developing a serious drinking problem.

These days  I add a lot less vodka and more club soda.  Or flavored, calorie-free sparkling water.  A splash of cranberry juice.  A splash.  Doesn't that sound refreshing?

The other benefit of Skinny Bitches- no sugar means less painful hangovers. Way less.  It's the sugar that makes morning headaches throb and stomachs queazy. Get rid of that and mornings start out a lot fresher.

Drinking less alcohol, fewer calories and waking up not feeling like a truck has run over me?  One skinny bitch, please.  Hold the sarcasm.

1 comment:

  1. I once read that Hemingway had a similar line of thinking in order to win drinking contests. He'd try to order his opponent something with sugar in it because the sugar helps get you sloppy quicker and sicker in the morning. I prefer tonic water to club soda, myself. And I've never had malaria, so it's good medicine.

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